Basking in the huge success of his new campaign ad, Iron Man, India's least favourite PM-in-waiting, was in an upbeat mood when we approached him for an exclusive interview with Nanopolitan Times. Some excerpts:
Nanopolitan Times: Congratulations on the success of your book. How does it feel?
Iron Man: Oh, it feels fantastic. You see, I didn't want to write just another book, I wanted to create history.
NT: Yes, that's quite evident. Given your own penchant for creative retellings of events from your life, how come your party goons partywallahs are protesting a harmless academic article on the many tellings of the Ramayana?
IM: No. No! We'll never allow it. Adventures and achievements of mere men are pliable. Ram is not a mere man, he's Iron Men's Iron Man! Also, he is the rath that took me to where I am today, and I'll need him to become the PM. So, we'll never allow it. Never.
NT: Now, your version of the events surrounding the 'terrorists-for-tourists' swap at Kandahar seem to be different from that of the others ...
IM: You know what? The first rule in Iron Men's playbook is this: There is only one version, and that's mine. All the others are perversions.
NT: Including those of the Development Man?
IM: Yes, if he talked. But he hasn't! He's an old, weak-kneed Bhishma, and better yet, he's a silenced Bhishma. He won't talk. He knows who the Iron Man is ...
NT: How about the socialist minister's words?
IM: Yes, his words, too. How can you trust a man who remained silent about the strip-searches?
NT: But, how about the terrorist-accompanying minister?
IM: Oh, him! I don't worry about him. Besides, he can't really complain, can he, when I flatter him by imitating him?
NT: How about the Ambassador?
IM: What about him?
NT: He said he wasn't in India during the Kandahar events ...
IM: Oh, did he? If so, he must be right.
NT: How come you are willing to concede this man's version, while trashing the others'?
IM: Because he represents Superpower. Iron Men fear Superpower.
NT: Are you suggesting that you'll make amends, now? How?
IM: I will ask my publisher to issue a new, revised version of the book.
[Iron Man thinks a bit, and starts talking excitedly ... ]
I'll tell you what, I just found a more apt title for my book, so I'll ask my publisher to change the title, too.
NT: Really? What's the new, more apt title?
IM: "My life, my ass!"
4 Comments:
Surely you have heard the old principle: my opinions may change, but not that fact that I am right.
"opinion" can always be replaced by "version", etc..
Good attempt at being funny! More so since it was supported by quotations from "The Hindu".
Try finding quotations from the People's Daily the next time, you might have better luck :)
You need to be Greatbong to carry off satire else it generally tends to fall flat
That's a nice one! :-) Incidentally, I am reading this just after watching excerpts of the Iron Man's interview on NDTV!
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