Thursday, June 16, 2005

When Kari met PC - Part 3

The concluding part of the saga of how an entrepreneur succumbs to political correctness -- and yet, loses.

Here are the first and second parts.

Things moved along nicely, and Kari managed to get Rambha and Premananda on board the IndiJoIndi blogging team. The latter came with a bonus: a long beard.

Kari thought he had nailed the problem of political correctness; his satisfaction, however, was to last less than 24 hours. On their first day at work, Rambha wore a Kiran Bedi look, while Premananda looked like Kevin Kostner in The Untouchables. It turns out that both of them blew up half their signing bonus to get a fancy hair cut. Kari's heart sank. Time was running out on him, and fast.

He called his assistant to identify a few more potential IndiJoIndi bloggers to interview.


The first interview was with a blogger called CM, who had a loyal readership in the thousands, and whose hair would make for a very happy Peppy. More importantly, his youth was on his side -- Mallika Sherawat had not stolen it, yet; so, his hair can grow!

"So, CM, let us just step back a bit, and check where we are. Here is my summary: Your background is great, your strengths complement ours, and you will get a great launching pad from IndiJoIndi. I think the fit is just perfect. What do you say?"

"What can I say, Kari? I am, like, totally in awe, here," CM punched the air, "Wow!"

"There is just one more thing before we sign the contract."

"What is it, Kari?"

"Oh, it is just a little statement that you sign here. It says you will not cut your hair while you are with us."

"You must be kidding."

"No, I am not. I hate doing this as much as you do. Trust me, I am doing this against my own instincts."

"Which are ...?"

"That people with long hair are inferior".

"Are you nuts? Has anyone called you a hairist, Kari?"

"Don't go all Peppy on me, CM. I am already being harassed by him and his cronies. It is nothing against you. It is just that we at the SuperSleuth Club have this hypothesis".

"Any evidence for this, er, hypothesis of yours, Kari?"

"Why, we have Rambha and Premananda, don't we? Why else would they go and have a haircut? That too, at my expense?"

"This is ridiculous. Do you know the kind of discrimination we face and endure because of hairist bigotry? Here we are, doing our own thing.... And, things get ruined because of idiots like you ... "

"Hey, don't insult me. Just for your information, CM, this discrimination or societal influence or nurture -- none of these has nothing to do with who you are. It is all in the genes, you know."

"What? Say that again."

"I mean, this nurture thingy is overblown. Many people thought it was responsible for why some people turned into psychopaths and serial killers. You know what? Genes are responsible. Genes, CM, GENES! The same genes that also create other inferior people. With long-hair!"

"You know what, Kari? I always thought of you as some dim-witted, overambitious anchovy; now I know that you are all that, and a hairist hignoramus."

"Hey, you are insulting me, again."

"You call that an insult? Here is a real one: 'you, denigrator of hairy - I mean, hoary -- traditions!' Can you take that, Kari? You want one more? How about: you ....""

At which point, their alpha male verbal duel gave way to one with their arms and fists. A few 'biff's and a few 'bang's later, the security people arrived.


Kari was taken to a hospital with black eyes and a broken nose. The doctors announced, grimly, that he would require plastic surgery to fix his nose.


CM's blog had a lone entry the next day. It read:

There are two kinds of entrepreneurs in blogging: those who have a nose for it, and those who lose their nose for it.


  1. Anonymous said...

    This three-part was pretty good Abi......nice job